— Vernon Howard
The theme of this blog is not going to be negative, but it may appear that way as my life would have it. I thought for sure when school ended and my trainings were over, that I would be able to focus on getting caught up on school work, and maybe even ahead? Well that has never been my style before so why would I start now? (With exceptions of IEPs, those I start early.) I really have been overwhelmed by these course so far, but not in a bad way, in an uncomfortable way. As my husband tells my son, “nothing great comes from being comfortable.” Was that said by someone famous? Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
That would fine except in the case of my daughter. I can not tolerate her discomfort. She had a severe reaction to bug bites on her foot (she is allergic to spider and mosquito bites). We have rushed her to emergency and urgent care four times this week. There is nothing they can do for her writhing pain. I’m sorry, I will not be able to give attentions to school topics while nursing my child, monitoring her for serious infection, carrying her to the bathroom and rubbing her back as she cries and cringes. This is an uncomfortable feeling I barely stand.
I finally took a breath today. I realized that I don’t know remember the last time I took a deep breath. Starting this Master’s program the two weeks before school ended had me in a state of regret. Maybe I am not cut out to do this? I thought. It doesn’t appear that anyone else in this program works in Special Ed, so is this program right for me? Do I really want to be the outsider of another professional community? I had to stop questioning myself and dive in despite the chaos that it adds to my already chaotic life. It might not be customary for Special Ed teachers to get their Master’s degree in Education Leadership through technology, but then I chose this “road less traveled” for a reason. Thank you Robert Frost.